This month’s featured book is Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs by Steve Cuss.

Once again, I was listening to a podcast when I first heard of this book. The title definitely intrigued me because I’m familiar with the overflowing shelves of books about leadership as well as the increasing number of books about anxiety. Putting those two together and talking about Leadership Anxiety seemed slightly unusual though. I like to think of myself as a leader and I know that I definitely have moments of anxiety, but is Leadership Anxiety actually a thing and if so what exactly is it and how in the world do I manage mine and others when I don’t know what it is. That thought alone can start bringing in a little bit of anxiety.

Thankfully in this book, Steve Cuss uses a his years of hospital chaplaincy and pastoring along with tools like Family Systems Theory to tackle the topic of anxiety from a spiritual perspective.  While this book is focused on anxiety in leadership situations, so much of it is applicable to all aspects in life. He begins the book with some explanations and tangible examples of anxiety and understanding it through the perspective of God’s grace. As he talks about the importance of recognizing and examining our areas of anxiety he says: “By paying attention to what was bubbling underneath and managing it, I discovered new levels of freedom and a profound encounter with God’s grace. I experienced genuine spiritual breakthroughs of patterns that had previously kept me stuck.”

Not only does Steve Cuss discuss the importance of identifying anxiety and give hope for the work God can do in our lives as we get to the roots of those anxieties, but he gives tangible tips and tools for how to recognize the causes of your anxiety in leadership and recognizing signs of anxiety in those you are leading. He speaks to causes of both internal anxiety and relational anxiety like the people we feel we need to live up to or not disappoint, blind spots, feeling judged, doubt, dealing with mixed messages, feeling like you’re in a lose-lose situation, stepping on unseen relational land-mines, and so many more. As he spends multiple chapters unpacking and explaining these many sources of anxiety for leaders, I could see situations that I or other leaders I know have found ourselves in.

After spending time unpacking these realities that leaders face, along with the impacts and anxiety that it causes for those around us as well, the author begins to share numerous strategies and tools to for how to manage or deescalate that anxiety. Many of these tools I was familiar with, but was reminded that they are in my toolbox and I should probably be using them a little more often. I was also blessed to be able to have several other new tools to manage relational and leadership issues that can easily cause anxiety for me and others. Tools like learning to pay closer attention to not just content, but to the process of how people are relating and behaving because that is where things tend to get stuck. I was also reminded of the importance of trying to see how I am personally contributing to stuck systems so I can help get us unstuck. Even more importantly than the great tools themselves though, was this reminder:

“The goal of managing anxiety is not simply for relief, it is to connect more fully with God and to raise awareness of what God is doing. Anxiety blocks our awareness of God because it takes our subconscious attention. This means that anxiety can be an early detection system that we’re depending on something other than God for our well-being.”

I found Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs by Steve Cuss to be a very helpful and insightful read. It was full of encouragement, tools, helpful explanations, and challenges to better equip the reader not just for leadership but for life. One of the closing reminders in the book was a quote from a group facilitator that the author works with who said: “This is hard work, but staying the same and not doing this work is hard too. It is just that you are familiar with the ‘hard’ you’re in now. You’ve become so accustomed to the anxiety you carry every day that you don’t realize how hard it is.”

If you’ve not read this book, I would encourage you to give it a read so you can gain some insight, encouragement and tools to hopefully make your life as leader just a little less hard in the future.

Last fall, I had the immense privilege of taking a four week Sabbatical. Before the Sabbatical I might not have used the words “immense privilege” to describe it, because the work that it took to prepare for it was beyond exhausting. By the time the Sabbatical started, I definitely felt like I had earned it and needed it. To say that I was exhausted would have been an understatement.

Besides the preparation of making sure that all of my job responsibilities would be covered for the the month that I was gone, I also was making preparations to make sure that the Sabbatical time itself was intentional and productive in helping me rest, renew and refocus. One of the things that I did in preparation for the Sabbatical time was read the book that I reviewed yesterday, Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity by Saundra Dalton-Smith, M.D. I was so glad that I had stumbled across her book in a podcast shortly before my Sabbatical. It really helped me understand the different aspects of rest and how those might be best incorporated.

I already knew that just sitting at home, watching tv or reading wouldn’t be the rest that I’d need during my Sabbatical time. Reading Dr. Dalton-Smith’s book helped me incorporate many different types of rest into that time. I discovered that many things including trying new things which for me included kayaking, taking a drive to view fall colors, enjoying quiet time and times with music, spending time with friends and time alone, and so many other things all helped contribute to my restfulness and feeling renewed.

All of these things helped me feel more rested, but I also took more time to just spend with God, to enjoy my relationship with Him just for the sake of our relationship not to study or prepare or anything else. The rest and peace that I felt from that truly enabled me to enjoy the other types of rest as well. During that time with God, I was really challenged by the idea of dwelling or abiding with Him. I know the verses well like: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5. Yet during this time, God really challenged me that I was putting other things like my to-do list and productivity ahead of actually dwelling with Him. As I explored this more, I realized just how much more restful dwelling with Him is.

If you’ve made it this far in this article, you might be thinking “That’s great and I’m glad you had this great Sabbatical, but I’ll never be able to do that.” And yes, I was fortunate enough to have that opportunity, but many of these things that I learned about rest can be implemented into life outside of Sabbaticals. I know this because more that six months after my Sabbatical, these lessons are still shaping and helping my daily life.

The reminder of the importance of dwelling with God and depending on Him instead of my obsessive to-do lists is still a valued part of my life. Am I doing it perfectly? No. Are there still days that I neglect my relationship with Him? Yes. Do I come back to dwell with Him much more quickly? Yes. Do I value that relationship and dependence on Him more? Absolutely.

The understanding of the variety of ways that I can and need to rest is also still very crucial in my day to day life. Again, I don’t do it perfectly and some days or weeks are better than others. There will always be more demanding seasons in our lives or times when it is more of a struggle to find the time for rest, but as we realize the importance of dwelling with God and resting it becomes more of a priority to seek to consistently make them part of our daily lives.
I think of the verse, Psalm 34:8, which says, “Taste and see that the Lord is good.” As we get a taste of the rest found in Him and that He desires for us, we will find ourselves craving it more and more. So even if you are busy, like we all are, and think you have no time to truly dwell with God or experience rest, I challenge you today to start where you are and carve out a few minutes or more to spend time with God, learn more about what rest you need, and start to experience His rest. If you think you have no time to carve out, then I challenge you to really take a close look at your time to see if that’s true. Can you give up some time on social media, or watching tv, or playing games? Do you have a few minutes in the carpool line, in a waiting room, or could you wake up just a few minutes earlier? I have to remind myself of this at times, but trust me, whatever the sacrifice it will be well worth it.

​I first heard of the book, Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity, in a podcast featuring the author Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith. I was intrigued by what I heard from her and about the book because like so many people I had been struggling with feeling tired all the time. When someone would casually ask how I was doing, so often the first thing that would come to mind was “tired.” I felt like I tried to rest, but never felt rested. For one of the first times as I listened to this author speak, I heard someone explaining why my “resting” didn’t always leave me feeling rested.

In her book, Dr. Dalton-Smith explains that: “Much of what we consider rest fails to work because it is not restful.” She also takes time to explain the difference between sleep and rest, saying that sleep itself is not rest, but rest makes our sleep better. The book explains that many things that we think are restful, like escapism, are actually not helping us rest in a way that helps us recover and renew our energy. She approaches this extensive look at rest from both her medical and faith backgrounds giving a well-rounded, well-researched point of view.

Thankfully, the author doesn’t just explain what we are doing wrong when it comes to rest, but the majority of the book explains what is needed for true rest. She says that “The most effective rest occurs when we are purposefully reviving the parts of our life we regularly deplete.” Dr. Dalton-Smith goes on to explain that there are seven different areas where we need rest: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social, sensory, and creative. As we deplete ourselves in each of these areas, we need to rest in ways that help us recover and replete those specific areas. If our senses are exhausted from the noise and other inputs of life, then sitting down to watch tv or a movie for a few hours isn’t going to help us rest and feel renewed. The same idea is true for each of the seven areas. Different types of exhaustion, need different types of rest.

Dr. Dalton-Smith not only shares about these seven areas of needed rest, but she gives very practical ideas on how to rest in ways that can renew us in each of those areas. In case we weren’t already convinced, she goes on to share a dozen different gifts that rest gives us: from freedom and acceptance to permission, productivity, and choice.

All of these ideas were like a breath of fresh air to me, and might be to you as well. Dr. Dalton-Smith asks a question with a powerful suggestion , “What steals your rest? Answering this question helps reveal the benefits of having boundaries and the gift we have in setting boundaries within our lives.” Recognizing the specific things that steal our rest and even more importantly the areas where our rest has been depleted, helps us determine the kind of rest we really need.

This book includes a Personal Rest Deficit Assessment and also a link to her free 7 Types of Rest Quiz. In this online quiz, you can determine the areas where you are most in need of rest. When I took this quiz it was simultaneously eye-opening and also very affirming of what I was feeling. After taking the quiz I spent about a month trying to implement some the types of rest that were suggested in the book. After that month, I retook the quiz and saw improvement in most of the areas.

If you are struggling with constantly feeling tired and exhausted, and feeling like nothing you do makes it better, then I’d highly encourage you to take some time to check out this book. For me, it is definitely going to be a periodic re-read to remind myself of areas where I need to proactively rest and replenish. I hope it might be as helpful to you as it was to me.

This is week six in our series on what Scripture teaches us about the value of wonder in our lives and ministries.
 
Today’s Scripture passage is Luke 5:26 (NLT)

This verse comes from the passage where Jesus was preaching to a room so crowded that the only way a group of men could get their paralyzed friend to Jesus for healing was to go up on the roof and lower their friend down into the middle of the crowd. Jesus then forgave the man’s sins and healed him. This verse, Luke 5:26, was the crowd’s response to what they had just seen.

They weren’t just quietly wondering. They were “gripped” with “great wonder and awe.” When was the last time that you were gripped with wonder and awe over something that God had done? That word “gripped” gives me a picture of wonder and awe closing in all around me, surrounding me, and making it impossible to ignore. When was the last time that you simply couldn’t ignore the wonder of God in a moment?

If it’s been awhile, is it because God doesn’t do wonderful and amazing things that often anymore or is because we’re just failing to be gripped? I fear that it’s become far to easy for us to evade this grip of wonder and awe. We’re busy and move right past it without looking or giving it time to grip us. We’re so focused on other things we miss the moments entirely, or maybe we’ve just come to expect those moments and take them for granted.

Maybe we need to slow down just a bit so we don’t miss or just brush past these opportunities to be gripped with wonder. You may be saying, “That sounds great, but you don’t know my schedules, the demands and responsibilities I have. I don’t have time to slow down.” Do you have time not to? If it’s been a while since you’ve been “gripped with great wonder and awe,” then I would wonder how your soul is doing? I know when I get caught in seasons that are so busy or stressful that I stop noticing the wonderful and amazing things that God is doing around me, whether I want to admit it or not, I feel it in my soul. Instead of wonder and awe and praise filling me, I find myself struggling with discouragement or discontent or envy or bitterness or even anger.

So I ask again, do we really have time not to slow down and take notice of the wonders that God is doing around us? In difficult times, it might start out with looking for the small everyday things that we have been missing: a sunrise, a sunset, a flower, a interesting cloud formation, something or anything that reminds us that God is good and still pretty amazing. It also might start with going back to John 3:16, Romans 5:8, or another favorite verse that reminds us how much God loves us and how truly wonderful He has been to us.

I would challenge you, and me, this week to start opening our eyes to the wonders around us and then respond as this crowd did by praising God and exclaiming to ourselves and others that “We have seen amazing things today!”

It doesn’t take long in life, or ministry, to hit a season of difficulty and challenge. Seasons of uncertainty, fear, and grief rock us all at times.


We each have our own tendencies in how we try to get through these types of seasons. We might try to buckle down, work even harder, and just plow through. We might try to bury our heads in the sand and try to act like everything is okay. We might do our best to get through what we have to, and then distract or numb ourselves so we don’t have to deal with our thoughts and feelings. We might isolate ourselves so we don’t have explain to others what we are dealing with. We might do the opposite and vent to trusted people or anyone who will listen. We might get angry and explode on those around us. It could be that we do any one of those or possibly a mix of them depending on the situation and season that we are facing.


Maybe we look for healthier alternatives though. We might seek a trusted advisor. We might try to process our thoughts and feeling through journaling. We might do some deep breathing or seek to exercise or eat healthier. We might look for some books to help us where we are struggling. We might look to spend time with friends and family. We might finally take time to rest. While these are definitely strategies that are much better for us than the first ones, Psalm 31:24 has an even better idea for us:


“Be strong and let your heart take courage,
All you who hope in the Lord.”


Read that verse again, and maybe one more time after that. I don’t know about you, but reading those words lets me just take a much needed deep breath. At the same time I find myself wanting to say: I want to be strong. I want to be courageous, but I just don’t know if I know how or if I can.


There is good news. The key is in the second part of that verse: “All you who hope in the Lord.” This is where we begin. When we’re uncertain, when we’re afraid, when we’re grieving or struggling, we need to start by hoping in the Lord. Sometimes we don’t just isolate ourselves from others. Sometimes in difficult seasons of life we isolate ourselves from God too. We know that’s not helpful, but we do. So start there. Stop isolating yourself from God. He hasn’t left you. He is waiting with open arms for you to come pour out your hurt, your pain, your fears, your worries, and your sorrow to Him. Not only can He take it, but He will love you through it. He will walk with you through whatever fire surrounds you.


When we go to God in difficult times, His love and His truth sparks hope in our souls. Not hope in our situation or anything else that we tend to cling to, but hope in Him. It is that hope that enables us to be strong and take courage. When we’re at the end of our rope and we can’t muster up that strength and courage on our own, it comes from hope in Him.


So are you facing uncertainty, fears or sorrow today? Spend some time with God. Enjoy His presence. Pour out your struggles and allow Him to fill you hope, strength, and courage.

I chose Discerning Wonder as the name for this ministry for a variety of reasons. I'll share some of the other reasons another time, but today I want to talk about the most important one by taking a closer look at those two words.
​

Discernment is where we begin. It is crucial in both life and ministry. We use discernment everyday in big and small ways. Throughout Scripture we frequently see discernment partnered with wisdom and are repeatedly called to practice discernment with the help of the Holy Spirit.

We need discernment from God in our daily lives, and while there are many important things we should be discerning, perceiving or recognizing each day I would suggest that wonder is a very important one.

When we're young, the world is filled with so much wonder, but as we get older busyness, pressures, and cynicism so easily keep us from seeing the wonder around us every day.

As someone who has been in church ministry for over thirty years, I've also seen how easy it is to lose our sense of wonder. We start out full of wonder at who God is and what He has done in our lives and the lives of those around us. That wonder and gratitude fuel our passion for our calling and ministry and service.
                   But along the way we get busy.
                   We get stressed.
                   We get burned out.
                   We get misunderstood, hurt and taken advantage of.

We lose our focus on what God has done. We lose our focus on GOD.
We've lost our wonder.
               Wonder at the amazing things He does every day.
               Wonder at what He has allowed us to be a part of.
               Wonder at His love for you and me.

I don't know about You, but I could use more wonder in my life. I want to start noticing the beautiful, the unexpected, the inexplicable and even the unexpected and feel the surprise and admiration, awe and thankfulness of the Mighty God who saves and sustains!